finally...

www.iWouldPreferNotTo.com

   ... wjs... 9:28 PM

 
Life is so obvious that we have all but forgotten it.

   ... wjs... 9:19 PM

 
When I write here, I show myself.
When I don't write here, I hide.

I've been hiding lately
but
I think I'm coming back around.

   ... wjs... 10:05 PM

 
... What is happening? ... That is the question.
The question that has been keeping me holed up.

This is a fine tooth comb affair.
I have no idea what I'm doing and no idea why I'm doing it.

Trying to put my moods in perspective so that my awareness of my own life can extend past each individual mood or state.

Here's the progress to date:
I don't want to do anything.
Given that certain circumstances exist and I've got to do something for some unknown amount of time, I want to have fun.
I have fun when I enjoy what I'm doing.
Usually I enjoy what I'm doing when I believe I'm good it.
What I end up wanting to do means nothing outside of these circumstances.
Bottom line: outside of these circumstances, I don't want to do anything.
I just want to be. Have fun and enjoy myself.
Outside of these circumstances, fun and enjoyment are completely different things.
Inside the circumstances, they are merely amusement.

The potential for confusion here is infinite, ...
unless you stop and take a look...

Eventually I will get to a point where I can move on.
Right now I can't.

   ... wjs... 1:32 PM